I feel a tugging of the strings that bound my kids to their Dad and I, especially with my firstborn. At third grade, event after event test my resolve as I balance between taking care of her and allowing her independence. Field trips far from our comfort zone especially do this to me. Letting her go in the “big city”, with all the good and bad elements, is enough to keep me on the edge until such time the bus docks safely back in school. Arming her with a cellphone and enough wits, trusting her teachers, and praying my heart out, I managed to survive the day sane and sound.
This must be how my mother feels every time I board a plane, even now as I near the fourth decade of my life.
And tale as old as time, Mischa and Maxine will always be babies in my heart. I will always maybe try to hold on as tight as I can even though the waves would eventually take them away from my side.
Technically, we already finished the first week of school. Literally, though, since there is a typhoon and rains have been non-stop, classes have been suspended for three days now. So really, we were in school, what, 3 hours this week.
We arrived a little later than usual on this first day of classes so I wasn’t able to go inside the classroom with her and take her photos. Which is just too well since she’s not a small girl anymore (tissue please, this is the part where I want to bawl like a baby 😦 ) Since the teacher was already inside, and the kids were pretty much settled down, I was reduced to taking photos from beyond the glass windows (which renders photos grainy and all).
It was also a mark of how the kids are growing and maturing that they were quieter and more subdued on the first day of class instead of running around and talking at the top of their lungs.
Also, Mischa’s school is adjusting to the new cycle of the academic year that starts mid-year, instead of the traditional June. Classes would then be off around the 3rd week of May, instead of the usual March. So I don’t really know what our summer next year would be like.
Sometimes I feel sad that I could never again nurture another human being inside my body. Despite the physical pain, not to mention the finances babies bring, I have never felt more powerful when bringing into this world another human being who would someday change the world. While we did not have concrete plans of having another baby, it makes me wistful that that opportunity is now gone forever. I said goodbye to my 3-kilo myoma, which I’ve been carrying around for the last 7 years or so, but at the same time, I bid adieu to the chance of contributing to humanity again. I am healthier but there’s regret eating me up from the inside. It is sad that to make myself stronger, I had to give up my future kid(s).
The little girls got lucky again because they got to watch another live show, this time Hello Kitty and friends. I am not so much a fan of the girly cat but I would always take the chance to spend quality time with my babies. And who can say no to free tickets? lol.
They didn’t delight in it as much as they did with the Disney on Ice, probably because Mickey really does have quite a pull with kids. What I liked about the show was the interactive parts when they engage and let the audience join in some parts of the script. There were huge bouncy, lightweight balls that the kids can catch and pass on, then there were the long swaths of cloth that each had to hold so that Kitty can do her fashion pieces.
Frankly, I dozed off on some parts, still I was happy because I didn’t have this much opportunities as a kid growing up. We stayed pretty much at home, going out just to visit family at their homes, but never going out as much as we do now. You could say I am living a second life, and I cannot be more thankful for it.
This sums up our tiring but happy holidays at the close of 2016 and the beginning of 2017:
We ate a lot, and had much, much fun, especially the kids who played to their hearts’ desires. And if they’re happy, then I am happy. Plus we got to spend a lot of time with my baby bro. All in all, I was exhausted (getting old here) but then I can always rest after all the excitement has died down, and the memories will remain online (forever I hope) and in our hearts.
It is always a struggle to take photos of the kids, especially Maxine who is active more than ever! We cannot achieve that polished family look harhar. #real
Thank you Lord God for the gift of family and love. Thank you for the time we were able to spend with them. We may not have much, and we struggle most of the time. But we are together.
We will never be used to being apart, no matter how short any of my trips are. I wonder if she or I will still feel the same way when it is her turn to leave me in the future?
It was a little weird at first that us girls were left to our devices. It is usually I who travel (due to work) and the girls are left with their dad. This time around, it was the hubby who had to go home to his home province following the death of his paternal grandmother. And so it was just us girls for four days. It was a first since Maxine was born. Things were harried in the mornings, especially when you had to prepare a kid for school, and you lose one adult to help out. I had to wake up earlier than usual so I have more time for the girls. And I had to fend off sleep until both are sleeping soundly. But all in all we survived. We missed Daddy but it was also refreshing to have them to myself. There is nothing I love more than cuddling their warm and sweet bodies.