Today, I celebrate my last year in my 30s. No fuss, no fanfare.
I am fast approaching mid-life. I am struggling to achieve many things, most of them revolving my family. At this point, there is nothing more important that this. Everything else is secondary, and I am only endeavoring to complete them, so that I can fulfill our dreams.
So I lift everything to the Almighty Father for He alone can hear my prayers and give me what I deserve.
But first, some cake and pansit for long life. Cheers!
There is nothing more heartbreaking that seeing your child in pain, much more if it is inflicted so that she will get better 😦 It literally feels as if you heart is torn as each needle, catheter, medicine, etc. enters her little body. I would gladly take on all the pain when you helplessly see your offspring like that as she cries her heart out and looks at you and calls you mommy. So, so gut wrenching! We didn’t even think she was that bad of a shape when we brought her for a routine check up to accompany her Ate. Turns out that her vomiting episodes that morning brought her to a state of moderate dehydration already.
There was no energy left in her after being spent as doctors and nurses inserted all those devices in her. I could only hug her tight and whisper to her that everything will be alright and that mommy is beside her. I pray with all my heart that neither of them get sick anymore. I couldn’t take it anymore, especially since this is Maxine’s third time to be hospitalized.
After three days, we were finally given the go signal to go home. I was rewarded with this smile, and thank the Almighty for His healing hands.
Missed this once again as I had a work-related training on the same date. I am wistful that I keep on missing out on these important events but I am trying to convince myself that whatever I am doing for work, I am doing for their future. Such are the woes of working mothers like me 😦
Anyway, her daddy went her and I could see that she had fun! It was exciting that the school prepared a different kind of itinerary for them, which is not the usual field trips for preschoolers. This one seemed like a true learning experience. They went kite flying, watched a puppet show then went to a famous (kind of expensive) indoor theme park.
I feel a tugging of the strings that bound my kids to their Dad and I, especially with my firstborn. At third grade, event after event test my resolve as I balance between taking care of her and allowing her independence. Field trips far from our comfort zone especially do this to me. Letting her go in the “big city”, with all the good and bad elements, is enough to keep me on the edge until such time the bus docks safely back in school. Arming her with a cellphone and enough wits, trusting her teachers, and praying my heart out, I managed to survive the day sane and sound.
This must be how my mother feels every time I board a plane, even now as I near the fourth decade of my life.
And tale as old as time, Mischa and Maxine will always be babies in my heart. I will always maybe try to hold on as tight as I can even though the waves would eventually take them away from my side.
Technically, we already finished the first week of school. Literally, though, since there is a typhoon and rains have been non-stop, classes have been suspended for three days now. So really, we were in school, what, 3 hours this week.
We arrived a little later than usual on this first day of classes so I wasn’t able to go inside the classroom with her and take her photos. Which is just too well since she’s not a small girl anymore (tissue please, this is the part where I want to bawl like a baby 😦 ) Since the teacher was already inside, and the kids were pretty much settled down, I was reduced to taking photos from beyond the glass windows (which renders photos grainy and all).
It was also a mark of how the kids are growing and maturing that they were quieter and more subdued on the first day of class instead of running around and talking at the top of their lungs.
Also, Mischa’s school is adjusting to the new cycle of the academic year that starts mid-year, instead of the traditional June. Classes would then be off around the 3rd week of May, instead of the usual March. So I don’t really know what our summer next year would be like.
Sometimes I feel sad that I could never again nurture another human being inside my body. Despite the physical pain, not to mention the finances babies bring, I have never felt more powerful when bringing into this world another human being who would someday change the world. While we did not have concrete plans of having another baby, it makes me wistful that that opportunity is now gone forever. I said goodbye to my 3-kilo myoma, which I’ve been carrying around for the last 7 years or so, but at the same time, I bid adieu to the chance of contributing to humanity again. I am healthier but there’s regret eating me up from the inside. It is sad that to make myself stronger, I had to give up my future kid(s).
The little girls got lucky again because they got to watch another live show, this time Hello Kitty and friends. I am not so much a fan of the girly cat but I would always take the chance to spend quality time with my babies. And who can say no to free tickets? lol.
They didn’t delight in it as much as they did with the Disney on Ice, probably because Mickey really does have quite a pull with kids. What I liked about the show was the interactive parts when they engage and let the audience join in some parts of the script. There were huge bouncy, lightweight balls that the kids can catch and pass on, then there were the long swaths of cloth that each had to hold so that Kitty can do her fashion pieces.
Frankly, I dozed off on some parts, still I was happy because I didn’t have this much opportunities as a kid growing up. We stayed pretty much at home, going out just to visit family at their homes, but never going out as much as we do now. You could say I am living a second life, and I cannot be more thankful for it.