I feel a tugging of the strings that bound my kids to their Dad and I, especially with my firstborn. At third grade, event after event test my resolve as I balance between taking care of her and allowing her independence. Field trips far from our comfort zone especially do this to me. Letting her go in the “big city”, with all the good and bad elements, is enough to keep me on the edge until such time the bus docks safely back in school. Arming her with a cellphone and enough wits, trusting her teachers, and praying my heart out, I managed to survive the day sane and sound.
This must be how my mother feels every time I board a plane, even now as I near the fourth decade of my life.
And tale as old as time, Mischa and Maxine will always be babies in my heart. I will always maybe try to hold on as tight as I can even though the waves would eventually take them away from my side.
There are times when you don’t know whether to laugh and cry at the same time. Watching your two-year old start school is one of them. Our bunso entered the educational system much younger than her three-year old ate, and in so many ways, much more baby-er. She’s more into play than actual learning but that’s okay.
Some may judge us for apparently “pressuring” her to be in school so early. But…I just want to relaxed, learning environment for my baby, and who could argue with that. Better than being at home the whole day glued to the TV or gadgets if she gets tired with her toys, while we are at work and her sister is in school. What’s so bad about three hours in school with kids her age, and a licensed professional overseeing her? It’s not like she’s asked to produce top grades or anything like that.
Just a very proud moment for us. There were no tears, no separation anxiety. I was expecting a little tantrum or she would cling to me when I hand her over to teacher. It was crazy that I was sad that she was willing to let go. Haha.
My independent baby.
Oh my God! Isn’t there a slow down or pause button? I read somewhere that the “days are long but the years are short” when it comes to raising children. It couldn’t be more true as I look at my daughters, and it hits me hard usually when it’s their birthdays.
Hay Ate. What can I say? I will always say I love you over and over again until we are all blue in the face. You’ve grown from a small, makulit and temperamental kid to a young tween who has so many interests that it is getting hard to keep up. Continue honing your creativity and passion, and being a wonderful and caring Ate to Maxine. I think I am on the verge of stepping onto another developing stage in your life as you begin your eighth year in this world. While you still like toys, you now begin to get interested in the Net, not just the ones I give you permission for, but things brought about by your own curiosity. I now have to keep a closer eye on the things you watch and hear. I am getting a bit anxious to say the least, considering you are at an impressive age. You also love your crafts a lot. Even though they may get messy in the house, and we keep on badgering you, know that deep down, we are very proud of your “creations”. Keep it up baby girl, we will always support you in whatever you want to do, and help you find your niche in this world.
We will now have two kids in school. You would often hear parents “Don’t grow up too fast!” or “Where did time go?” in relation to bringing up kids. One minute they’re tiny, the next they’re spreading their wings and flying away from their nest. I’ve had these moments every time Mischa tries on thing after thing. But now it is the bunso‘s turn. Come August, she’ll join the throngs of school children. Earlier this month, we had her assessed at Mischa’s old pre-school, and been found that she can start toddler class. It is safe to say that she aced the “entrance exam”.
Some might say she maybe too young since she’ll be two months shy of being 3 by the time class opens. As with Mischa, there is really no pressure about her academics. For both of them, I just want the opportunities to learn and explore. As early as now, I want to expose her to the world, no matter how little the world maybe to her at this time. For her to just go beyond the confines of our house, and not be limited to our circle, her toys, and the gadgets around. And mostly, I just wish for her to have an alternative venue to expend her energies creatively.
Sometimes I feel sad that I could never again nurture another human being inside my body. Despite the physical pain, not to mention the finances babies bring, I have never felt more powerful when bringing into this world another human being who would someday change the world. While we did not have concrete plans of having another baby, it makes me wistful that that opportunity is now gone forever. I said goodbye to my 3-kilo myoma, which I’ve been carrying around for the last 7 years or so, but at the same time, I bid adieu to the chance of contributing to humanity again. I am healthier but there’s regret eating me up from the inside. It is sad that to make myself stronger, I had to give up my future kid(s).
The little girls got lucky again because they got to watch another live show, this time Hello Kitty and friends. I am not so much a fan of the girly cat but I would always take the chance to spend quality time with my babies. And who can say no to free tickets? lol.
They didn’t delight in it as much as they did with the Disney on Ice, probably because Mickey really does have quite a pull with kids. What I liked about the show was the interactive parts when they engage and let the audience join in some parts of the script. There were huge bouncy, lightweight balls that the kids can catch and pass on, then there were the long swaths of cloth that each had to hold so that Kitty can do her fashion pieces.
Frankly, I dozed off on some parts, still I was happy because I didn’t have this much opportunities as a kid growing up. We stayed pretty much at home, going out just to visit family at their homes, but never going out as much as we do now. You could say I am living a second life, and I cannot be more thankful for it.
We will never be used to being apart, no matter how short any of my trips are. I wonder if she or I will still feel the same way when it is her turn to leave me in the future?