This about sums up how I feel as I drag my feet to my first day back at work. I will miss my two beautiful girls as I go back to the daily grind. While I may complain about the little sleep/rest I got these last two months, I definitely would not mind being there for them again full time. I really do not mind spending all my energy on them. I will especially miss my bunso because at the moment, I know that she depends on me so much. My eldest is a little more independent now, and doesn’t need me as much. Over the years, she and I have created a rhythm that attunes us to each other’s needs. For now, I believe that Maxine’s world revolve around the two of us. Sigh, I just wish I could always be with them, and feel their warm hugs and kisses all the time.
Frankly though, I am not really that keen to face work. Period. I am a little burned out to say the least. While I visibly relaxed during my absence, as the weeks and days to my return came nearer, that overwhelming feeling of being trapped intensified. I just wish I could curl up with my family and shut the world out. Unfortunately, I have to make a living. I have to push myself. For my girls.
Everything for my girls.