Girl power

Saturday, we attended Liam’s first birthday. It was not too long ago that we had that double celebration with his older brother, Enzo. Unfortunately this time, I had no picture of the birthday nor any of the party stuff.

I think Mischa has taken steps, albeit really small (for now), towards playing with other kids. It’s really hard for her to warm up to new people and a new environment. Kapit sa saya ang drama! Sometimes, I’m beginning to doubt if she got embarrassed at her old school that made her really retreat into her shell. She didn’t use to be this shy!

After thirty minutes into the party, parang nasobrahan naman yata. lol.

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Fingers crossed

Even toes, if it was possible. I am praying with all my might that these are true:

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We have been praying for this for the longest time. Now that it is within our grasp, I can’t breathe for the real results. You see, since my period was delayed for about two weeks now, I had pee tested and these are what came out. Unfortunately, when I had an ultrasound yesterday to confirm it, the OB-sonologist was unable to detect a sac 😦 I don’t know what to make of that. She said it might be I conceived late, and the “baby” could not be detected yet. Since I tested positive in two pregnancy kits, that should mean I have high levels of HCG right? The hormones that only pregnant women have? I sure hope so. Can my body fool two different testing kits?

The thing is, though, I have been having brown discharges almost everyday now. I don’t know if that’s my period? But it was too meager to have been it. Plus it still doesn’t explain the positive results.

Badly confused and anxious right now.

25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters

This one I got from Facebook shared by a friend. Very similar to this. Being a parent is both wonderful and heartbreaking! It is never simple.

25 RULES FOR MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.

15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy’s feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat – let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect – she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the better person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words; she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

23. Mother her. Being a mother – to her – is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets – no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her…she may just whisper, “I need my mommy.”

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit; tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor – where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile; be home.

Summer look

Warning: This is a vanity post. I seldom do this because ever since I became a mother, it has been all about my pretty daughter. Anyway, I’m sporting a new look. It feels like I had long hair forever, and I finally got down to business and brought my ass to a salon before our teambuilding over the weekend.

So here’s I look now:

At the bus on our way to Subic with hubby

At the bus on our way to Subic with hubby

With my staff

With my staff

Feeling hot! hot! hot!

Feeling hot! hot! hot!

30 over 30

Got this list from Cosmo Ph. I’m now over thirty, but I believe that it’s never too late for anyone to try anything. Okay, so I’ll highlight what I’ve done..

Before reaching the big 3-0, make sure you’ve made the most of your 20s by trying out these to-dos shared by real 20-somethings who’ve made their bucket lists happen.

1. Travel to at least two countries around the world. Check! Canada, United Kingdom, Malaysia, Singapore

2. Try an extreme sport or (or ride a really legit rollercoaster).

3. Plan a backpacking trip with your partner or barkada. Check!

4. Visit at least five beaches in the Philippines. Check! Boracay, Palawan, Cebu, Panglao, Subic, Puerto Galera, Batangas

5. Go on a retreat a la-Eat, Pray, Love. Check!

6. Rough it up and go camping. While you’re at it, ditch all your gadgets for a whole day!

7. Set up a part-time business as an extra source of income. Check! It paid for my trips.

8. Take a post-graduate degree overseas. Just a post-graduate degree.

9. Have an adventurous love affair. I don’t know about being adventurous but yeah.

10. Go on a cruise. Check!

11. Hit the party scene and feel like you’re twenty-two-oo, as Taylor Swift would say. Check!

12. Experience living in a different country for a few years.

13. Find a new hobby, like yoga, pilates, or rock climbing. Does aerobics and zumba count?

14. Go scuba diving. Does snorkeling count? Maybe not. lol

15. Take a food trip around Asia. Check!

16. Finish a marathon.

17. Hook up with your childhood crush before settling down. I wish I had a real crush when I was a kid. They seem to be all celebrities!

18. Have at least one kick-ass job you can be proud of. My job is not kick-ass but I’m proud of it.

19. Open your own bank account. Check!

20. Move out of your parents’ house. Check!

21. Have a stable group of friends. Check!

22. Forgive your enemies and cut ties with anchors. Check!

23. Buy your parents a major “thank you” gift. “Major” is such a subjective word.

24. Have an impressive resume that doesn’t need padding. Check!

25. Buy something ridiculously expensive as a gift for yourself. Check!

26. Save enough money to buy a car (a secondhand will do).

27. Know how to fall in love the right way. Check!

28. Ditch your insecurities and embrace your curves! Check! I have a lot of bikinis to show for it. Proof.

29. Overcome a fear. Check! Majorly done at the Capilano Suspension Bridge in Vancouver where I almost died of a heart attack. lol.

30. Learn how to say “no. Check!

22 of 30 ain’t bad, right?

In her new second home

The big kid on the block has started in her new school! It’s been three days but she seems to love it so far. Although the grandma reports to me today that she had a fit because she wanted to bring home her indoor shoes meant for school. But generally, I’m happy because she seems happy and at home there.

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Mischa is spending 20 days as a requirement for her Kinder 1 classes. Not really a requirement, the principal says to me, but more of writing and reading readiness so she won’t lag behind some of her classmates. I actually am thankful they did this. All for the good of the kid. Besides I don’t want to her to waste time parked in front of the television the whole day this summer. And when you’re in my mama’s house, you don’t really get to go out. Trust me. I never had playmates because I was cooped up all day inside. If only I get to take care of my own kid myself. Sigh! Another woe of a working mom.

I like the small campus. Compared to her old school, the place is very maaliwalas, peaceful and seems to be conducive to learning. The rooms are big, there are enough outdoor space, the personnel are very respectful, and most importantly, her new teachers seem to be very competent at tama naman ang grammar hehehe. Okay, so shoot the grammar Nazi mom, but this is really something very important to me. Marami namang wrong grammar na matalino, pero wala pa akong nakitang tama ang grammar pero…ganun. Pasensya na kung yan ang batayan ko pero yan ako eh. But other than that, the teachers, whom she will be spending a lot of time with, and whom she will have a tendency to imitate, feel like they are genuinely caring, and are considerate and mindful of being second parents to the kids. This is what we missed in her first school. I truly hope that she will develop more fully this time, socially and cognitively.

I hope that my view of the school and everything in it doesn’t change. Sana sulit because we paid an arm and a leg to send her there. There are less expensive schools in the area but this one really called to me. Because of our “big investment”, I am hopeful that they will become our partner in Mischa’s very good upbringing.