Sleep deprived

I have been having trouble sleeping of late. While I loved the four-day holiday, playing catch up time with Mischa, it did nothing for my tired body. I’m wishing for those times when, as soon as my back hits the sack, I’m off to dreamland. But nooo! I had to watch lovingly, but rather enviously, father and daughter snore away all throughout the weekend while I tossed and turned for hours. I want sleep to find me again easily. I sure miss the days when I could do it at will. Waking up at 5:30 in the morning, and catching a nap for only thirty minutes while on vacation are definitely bummers!

I guess even if my katawang tao badly needs to rest, my mind just couldn’t give in to it. It continues to play and work, spinning off images of letters, phone calls, speeches, other drafts that I needed to do in the office. It creates scenarios, most of them the worst cases, and makes my heart and my head pound with anxiety. It doesn’t take a genius to diagnose that I am again under pounds of stress that I wish would just go away or die natural deaths. I wish we didn’t have to work under such stressful conditions. I long for the days when I would happily and willingly accomplish work, without having to worry unnecessarily that the work being done is not at par with very high and sometimes beyond reasonable standards.

I just wish I could sleep well again.

Happy to have playmates

It takes us forever to go and meet relatives my father’s side of the family but the trip is always so worth it. I super duper enjoy spending quality time with my cousins and my Mama Old and Papa Old if they are here in Manila. They live up north in Cagayan, you know, so I seldom see them. It’s a very nice change for me. Mommy, Daddy and I trekked to Novaliches yesterday to attend one of my second cousin’s baptism. Daddy wasn’t able to take pictures because there were lots of people around, and it was raining where the party was held on the street. We had to scamper and squish with other family in my aunt’s cozy, little house. Then we went to my Tita Vivien’s house in Fairview so we can spend more time with them, and sleep over.

I had so much fun! My Ate Lysa, Ate Mia, Kuya Aa and Ate Freya all ran around, chased balloons, drew, and basically made ourselves the life of the party. Laro na kung laro. Remember, I get to do this only once in a blue moon. Most of the time, I am cooped up in my Grandma’s house with only Lola and Lolo for company. Much like what they did to Mommy and Ninong Mico when they were still kids, they don’t let me go out as often. Sometimes I miss the environment in Taytay where I get to go on the street even if I don’t get to play with the other kids. Watching them was joy enough for me.

Anyhow, back to the matter at hand. I wanted to show you some of the photos Daddy was trying to take of us cousins playing to our hearts’ delight. To his chagrin, he could only take blurry shots because we kept on moving. Hey, we’re kids! We were born to be makulit and magulo. He was only able to have decent photos when the two older ates went to the supermarket with Tita Vivien, and the three of us winded down and decided to doodle over pencils, crayons and papers.


Ever since we inadvertently began staying here at my parents’ house again beginning June, we have more or less been settling into a pretty predictable pattern, especially on weekends. Ever since Mischa was born, we always seem to run here whenever uh, issues, arise in Rizal where we normally stay–loss of nannies, particularly, and some unmentionables that I’d rather keep although I knew I’ve dropped hints in a few posts.

Our life looks pretty much like this for the past dozen weeks–laundry, playtime, nap times, church, lunch out, nap times and more playtimes. Good or bad, that I don’t know yet.

I think I have previously mentioned somewhere here in this blog that my folks have got to be the most unadventurous creatures in the whole world. This goes for just about everything in their lives, and being the controlling people they are, have made them cope with situations that have come their way in their six decades of existence.

That being said, it seems that we’re somehow getting into the same grove of spending our free time in pretty much the same way since we are living with them at the moment. I don’t mean this the wrong way, but this makes it pretty hard sometimes to plan things or family activities that don’t involve them. Guilt would always tug at my insides if I want just the three of us to bond as a family together. We couldn’t “ditch” them and go out knowing they spend the whole week taking care of a hyperactive toddler while we are off at work. But really, sometimes I feel the urge to be selfish and have my daughter to myself. I want to have quality time with her that involves only me and the hubby. Is that too bad? Am I being the evil daughter?

A real-life Barbie

Got a good laugh the other day. We were having breakfast early in the morning with the television on when, Mischa blurted out “Barbie!”. Upon looking, I saw that it was Paris Hilton, who visited Manila this week to open one of her stores in the country, on the news. Whoa, she really did look like Barbie came to life, what with all that peaches and cream complexion (I read too much Sweet Valley series in my youth), and sunshine-y blond hair. I was a bit surprise my daughter made that connection too easily. Just goes to show how observant she is at such a young age. (or are all babies or toddlers like that?)

An almost encounter

Today was our first attempt at a “meet and greet”. Aside from Barney and Dora, Mischa absolutely adores Patrick, Spongebob Squarepants’ best friend. She hugs the huge Patrick stuffed toy her frenemy, Tito Sam, gave her ages ago during her christening. We braved the mighty weekend traffic from Bacoor to Las Pinas, and then met up with Mischa’s Ninang IC, and Baby Enzo. Unfortunately though, we got there just ahead of opening, and what do you know, it’s standing room only! So we just stayed round the perimeter of the stage area and lounged around hoping to have Mischa catch a glimpse of Spongebob and Patrick. Parang fan na fan talaga ang peg! lol. Our trip would have been a total waste if not for the precious, precious laughter and eagerness on my daughter’s face when saw the two characters even from a distance. Her excitement was enough to drive the mom to happiness πŸ™‚

"From a Distance" ang theme song ng mag-ama

Kawawa naman si Mischa 😦

Mischa and Enzo had fun getting acquainted. Have lots of pictures to show them in case they would end up together. Hehe.

Dear Lady Luck

I might be pushing you a bit far here but can I request that you do not fleet like a butterfly in my life. It’s such a beautiful day but I could feel my insides squirming with feelings I can’t describe. I realize that I have been blessed beyond most but I would really be grateful if you would stay awhile and let me bask in your arms for a while longer. I wish you would not make singil right away if I receive sprinklings of your magical dust. I know that hard work, ability and years of perseverance has brought me where I am now but please do not take anything from me. I would appreciate if I can maintain my friends and my sanity. I do not know what I’m doing wrong but the changes are creeping on me, and I am not liking some of it. I promise to work harder, continue being fair, and abiding by the rules without having to sell my soul to the devil. While it is your nature to touch other people’s lives, please do not run away from me like your ass in on fire.

Lots of love,