It was all over in a heartbeat. Gosh, I feel so ridiculous because I feel like I am reeling from a heartbreak. I even spent a sleepless night and shed tears for the ungrateful yaya. Yes, the bitterness is there. I’m sorry I can’t help it. I want to punch myself for feeling so bereft and forlorn.
After my overly positive post about how beautiful our weekends are, came this. And out of nowhere I might add. I really had no inkling that the yaya was planning to go home. She seemed completely at ease and comfortable round us, the house and most especially her ward, Mischa. Then she brought this on us real hard. Of course, we couldn’t stop her if indeed she wants to go home to her family. But this soon? She told us Friday, and we said that she ought to give us time to find a replacement for us. I mean, she’s been with us for more than a year. She knows how crazy our schedule is, having to leave in the wee hours of the morning and going home really late, regrettably leaving us very little time for our daughter the entire workweek. She knows how important she is. We trust her with our lives, most importantly our child’s life.
I’m grumbling. I’m so freaking disappointed. She said she couldn’t take care of Mischa anymore. I deeply, deeply feel the rejection. My exact thoughts were “how could she not love my daughter anymore, hindi sya mahirap mahalin!“. I was doubly hurt the whole weekend everytime I see Mischa looking at her everytime they pass each other, callling on to her “Ate”, smiling up at her, doing her peekaboo, making funny faces at her, and basically looking up trustingly at her, perhaps wondering why she wasn’t being picked up. How could she turn away from that? At ura-urada pa. Hindi na makahintay kahit isang linggo na lang nya pagtiisan yung bata!. My eyes are welling up again. I can’t write anymore.
I will get over this. Good riddance.