my heart is torn asunder. i am caught between agony and excitement as i prepare to leave the home front for a weeklong business trip for the first time since i had mischa. when i was still single, i have had the opportunity to travel a lot in my line of work. i was lucky enough to have toured almost all “significant” places in the country, from abulug, a northern town in cagayan province to the city of zamboanga down south, and everywhere else in between, often being gone for days to weeks at a time. my work varied from monitoring development projects, such as livelihood and water wells, visiting scholars, conducting relief operations and gift giving activities for families affected by calamities, bringing second and third generation filipino youth to places of interests in the country, organizing medical missions, conducting community education campaigns on migration and human trafficking, to name some. i have also gone with friends on my own steam to adventures in sagada, boracay, palawan, mindoro, malaysia, singapore and thailand, and a host of local places. i was again lucky enough to be able to set foot in the united kingdom. i came and went as i please. the lakbayan widget in the bottom right of this blog will show how much i’ve gone around the country. i kind of missed it–missed seeing places, getting on a plane, meeting new people, discovering what they have to offer, tasting local delicacies, etc. it was one of those things that took a back seat when i got married and had a kid. budget, time and effort got in the way. now, i’m being given the chance again after a long time, this time of a place of my own choice-the beautiful island of camiguin and then some. i am trying to get rid of the guilty feeling of leaving my mischa for seven whole days. while i have managed to repress the feeling so far, i think i am going to have a separation anxiety attack come sunday when i have to leave.
am i a bad parent for not refusing this trip? for leaving mischa in the able hands of my husband and my mother in law who is heaven sent at this time? for being a teeny bit excited about going out of town?