relatives on facebook

i admit to being a facebook addict.  i could lose myself for hours (only if mischa is asleep) surfing and playing.  it’s just such a joy to be in touch with people who would otherwise be so distant.  despite distances, one can keep up with the lives of family, and old and new friends alike.  it’s like, one is still part of other people’s lives and vice versa.  you seem to watch babies grow, be part of events and celebrations in their lives, feel their emotions, see their status, and basically feel like you live next door to them through their posts.  there are others who keep to themselves and instead, prefer to be on the sideline, looking for posts from others.  they just like to keep up but do not share a lot about themselves.  no problem with that, i guess.

anyway, the point of my blabbering here is that, at times, when you just want to spill your guts out about something, you stop short (me anyway), take half a step backward, and hold the rebellious thought in your head.  why?  because some of your family members can see you, or rather your, innermost thoughts.  it’s one of those filipino values (or traits) that i wish i don’t have, or at the very least, only have a small dose of.  i sometimes hate myself when i think a lot about what other people will think, and how they will view me.  facebook, for all its positive points, provides this drawback.  for the most part, i can’t post any status regarding our domestic life knowing in-laws or other relatives would see it, and might provide all kinds of assumptions or pass judgments.  hayayayay! i don’t mince words pa naman when i’m writing, and if i had as so much written all the things (and expletives) on my mind at the moment, maybe we would have been packing a long time ago.  even if all MY feelings are true and valid (to me, at least), i know that it would make me look bad.  sometimes i wish i could just do it, and post for i know it would feel like an infant able to let out a burp, which was causing it distress or a tummy ache.  but i know words sting, and once out, i couldn’t take it back.  and much as sometimes you answer back your parents (who are sure to forgive you), you cannot do the same for in-laws because you’ll forever be a marked woman.

recently though, i had a really good laugh (sorry kid) at my brother, who was seen by our folks holding a cigarette in his hand in one photo tagged by one of his friends.  i couldn’t help myself and took me several minutes to compose myself because i found it real funny!  he has been living on his own for more than 5 years now, and by god, he’s turning 30, and yet my mother felt like he was some kid to be chided.  lol.  i’ve said this a lot of times, i guess, parents will always treat their children as KIDS, no matter how old they are.  i could have half a dozen children, and my father will always insist on reminding me how to take care of a baby when he himself has not taken care of any!  going back to that yosi incident, mico felt sorry for the day he created my folks’ facebook account and for encouraging them to use the internet. 🙂

late bloomer

when it came to the twilight series that is.  i finally caved in to the prodding of one of my colleagues who gave me pdf files of the books and pirated versions of the first two movies (i might burn in hell for all the piracy i’m going through).  i know it’s been, like 5 years, ever since the first book came out, and like the harry potter series (which i love to death!), became a hit across genres and generations.  i’ve snubbed it for some time, thinking that it’s just a good read for adolescent girls, and wondered why on earth friends and officemates older than me have gone ga-ga over it.  i thought it was just the good looks of robert pattinson aka edward cullen or the gorgeous body of taylor lautner aka jacob black or the sweet innocence that seem to spew out of kristen stewart aka bella swa, i don’t know.  right now, i’m willing to try my hand at it.  i opted to first watch the movie, then read the book later.  i spared myself the disappointment i had with the dan brown and harry potter films because i was expecting a lot, having knowledge about the contents of the books.  thank god mischa spared me the needed couple of hours so that i could watch and actually enjoy eclipse in peace, while she drifted off to her nap.  now, on to the book…

basyang and the blackout

we were it at again the midnight of tuesday.  we knew from a forecast that we were expecting a storm to come our way but as always, it caught us by surprise.  or maybe it was the whole experience with ondoy that i haven’t quite shaken off.  i guess i was just a little on the edge of my seat again when i was browsing the news online and saw that signal no. 2 is raised in our little town of taytay.  my thoughts again are on my daughter and that she is alone with yaya.  but it wasn’t raining that hard so i think i slowly let our my breath little by little.  we even had time to make a detour at the grocery so that we could stock up on food.  so we got to bed, hoping somehow that we could get in some winks.  i did.  and then woke up with a start to the howling winds outside the house.  it sounded like roofs were being ripped off the houses, and trees being uprooted.  we turned off the airconditioning unit, and listened, all senses alert for the slightest changes in the air and weather.  we are now so eternally afraid of water and typhoons, having had to deal with floodwaters inside our elevated house with a baby in tow.  i never, ever wanted to relive that moment again.  that night, it didn’t help that power went out just after midnight.  thank god for rechargeable fans!  and thank the heavens it was just winds (but strong at that!), and only little rain.  but the next day, with no electricity yet, i just couldn’t find the will to go to work.  i was so worried about mischa.  our landline phone, which was wireless, gave up on us and yaya telling me she had no load, sealed my decision to stay at home.  it was uneventful since the storm has already gone, having had its fill of stopping by for only a couple of hours.  but there was no freakin’ power the whole day!  i had to fan mischa like crazy almost the whole day.  she couldn’t take her nap, i guess, because of the heat.  i didn’t want to use up the rest of the power left in the rechargeable fan because in my mind, we needed it more at night, and electricity was nowhere in sight.  there was nothing to it but bring out the trusty abaniko and, by the end of the day, my right hand was a little numb.  she kept on waking up every time i take a little rest from fanning her, resulting in a fitful sleep, thus, making her a little cranky.  she also had a little sumpong, with her literally clinging on to me, and did not want to be put down in her playpen.  i felt for her as i knew her rashes are itching like crazy because of the additional heat she had to endure.  she also had the look like she was naliligo sa pawis the whole day with her hair sticking to her forehead and neck.  if only i could explain to her why she was uncomfortable.  it was quite a tiring day as i also had to cook all the raw meat in the freezer for fear of letting it spoil.  had to run to the supermarket to buy liquid sterilizer for all her bottles.  it didn’t help that cellular phone signal was low, my battery was low, and had a hard time communicating with hubby, who later told me how hellishly hot the office was.  we had dinner and did everything else by candlelight.  we tried sleeping and comforting a sleepy and sweaty baby, with hubby and i alternating on the fan, the rechargeable fan conking out on us after an hour use.  you couldn’t imagine our happiness at 11pm when power was finally restored.  hay, the downside of being a parent (but which i would over and over for my kid(s)).  i just don’t want to deal with the constant worrying.

goodbye for now

mischa’s surrogate grandmother has gone away to visit her only son and his family (my sister-in-law, niece and nephew) in the united kingdom.  she’ll be away for six months, returning in time for new year.  we may not catch her as we are hoping to spend the holidays in hubby’s hometown of peñablanca up north.  i know she will miss mischa dearly.

my folks were kind enough to throw her a despedida, which is more than what i can say for myself.  we took a leave of absence though, to bring her to the airport.

baby lorenzo

i missed holding on to a tiny baby like this:

i got a bit doubtful, and thought i wouldn’t know how to carry a newborn anymore.  baby lorenzo was featherlight in my arms!  well, after carrying my 22 lb. daughter for the longest time, nanibago ako.  born on june 30 shortly after president noynoy aquino was sworn in at noon, i actually kidded my kumare ic and predicted that she will give birth on that day despite that her due date was some 9 days away.  i envied that she delivered the normal way, and for only a couple of hours at that.  he was a bigger and heavier baby than mischa by about 400 grams, and longer by 5 cms.

mischa was trying to pull at him while on the bed, and was, i think, fascinated by the look of him lying and sleeping.

welcome to the world baby!

are we ready for an ading?

in my husband’s province, an ading is the bunso, a younger (or the youngest) sibling in the family.  with much talk about this topic, along with birth control, child spacing and other whatnots in my online community, it does get me thinking about our readiness to have one at this juncture in our lives.  i have been more adamant than hubby in ensuring that we won’t have pregnancies at the moment.  frankly, he has been cavalier to say the least.  not that he wants to be irresponsible or anything (he is far from that), but that he is really excited at the prospect of having a boy, being the man that he is.  considering that mischa has recently turned 1, i can’t say that i am not thinking about it.  also, a close friend recently gave birth and i’ve seen babies younger than mischa and i admit that i somehow miss the feeling of holding a teeny one in my arms.  much as i hate to admit it, mischa is really a toddler now, and no longer the helpless creature that i can just leave on her cot or on our bed without fearing for her safety.  true to her age, mischa is now officially a kiti-kiti curious about everything and anything.

anyway, if only pure desire and a whole lot of love are the prerequisites for having a child, i would gladly give in right now, and have that second baby in a flash.  but then again, we don’t have the rosiest financial situation right now and that’s the biggest consideration we face.  no matter how we say we’re ready to be parents again emotionally and physically, it is sad that our resources are keeping us from bringing another child into this world.  but we can definitely wait.  and i’ve said in previous posts, i am really hopeful that the change in our government would entail a better economy, better opportunities and a more comfortable life.  as it is, i am having a hard time budgeting our meager income, what with the constant increase in oil prices, electricity rates, which eventually redounds to increase in the prices of goods and products.  sigh!  i don’t know how much more we can stretch our resources but we will.  despite the recent increase in our salaries, life is just plain hard. and it would be unfair to mischa and future kid(s) if we insist on having other children if we can’t give them the kind of life that they deserve.

with all of these, i can honestly say that we can actually plan and prepare for baby no. 2’s coming as soon as we’re free of credit card debts, we’ve saved up a little, mischa’s nearing playschool, and we’ve got more legroom with our finances.  that’s next year, am keeping my fingers crossed.  i’m hoping it’s a boy!

cfolympics

sometime in april, our moral renewal team, launched the cfolympics or the office’s summer sportfest.  obviously this is a mega-belated post, but i’m doing it now because we had the awarding ceremonies earlier this week.  so lest, this draft rots in my drafts page, i’m finishing it now.

anyhoo, this was the first time that we had a season-long fest as we usually hold sporting events during teambuilding activities, which are held in the early part of the year.  the most common team sports, basketball and volleyball, are the main events.  this time, the mrt delved into other non-contact and tamer, but equally competitive events.  i joined some of them, and am proud to say, emerged victorious in some.  i tried my hand at table tennis because i took this up as my PE class, and i felt that i have a bit of a fighting chance.  only, i was the lone girl among all those who signed up and competed.  needless to say, i lost wehehe.  but i did very well in scrabble, where seatmate frenz and i bested the division heads, and also played a significant part in the volleyball match where we snatched the gold.  it was good ol’ fun.  the blue team emerged overall champion woohoo!