i admit to being a facebook addict. i could lose myself for hours (only if mischa is asleep) surfing and playing. it’s just such a joy to be in touch with people who would otherwise be so distant. despite distances, one can keep up with the lives of family, and old and new friends alike. it’s like, one is still part of other people’s lives and vice versa. you seem to watch babies grow, be part of events and celebrations in their lives, feel their emotions, see their status, and basically feel like you live next door to them through their posts. there are others who keep to themselves and instead, prefer to be on the sideline, looking for posts from others. they just like to keep up but do not share a lot about themselves. no problem with that, i guess.
anyway, the point of my blabbering here is that, at times, when you just want to spill your guts out about something, you stop short (me anyway), take half a step backward, and hold the rebellious thought in your head. why? because some of your family members can see you, or rather your, innermost thoughts. it’s one of those filipino values (or traits) that i wish i don’t have, or at the very least, only have a small dose of. i sometimes hate myself when i think a lot about what other people will think, and how they will view me. facebook, for all its positive points, provides this drawback. for the most part, i can’t post any status regarding our domestic life knowing in-laws or other relatives would see it, and might provide all kinds of assumptions or pass judgments. hayayayay! i don’t mince words pa naman when i’m writing, and if i had as so much written all the things (and expletives) on my mind at the moment, maybe we would have been packing a long time ago. even if all MY feelings are true and valid (to me, at least), i know that it would make me look bad. sometimes i wish i could just do it, and post for i know it would feel like an infant able to let out a burp, which was causing it distress or a tummy ache. but i know words sting, and once out, i couldn’t take it back. and much as sometimes you answer back your parents (who are sure to forgive you), you cannot do the same for in-laws because you’ll forever be a marked woman.
recently though, i had a really good laugh (sorry kid) at my brother, who was seen by our folks holding a cigarette in his hand in one photo tagged by one of his friends. i couldn’t help myself and took me several minutes to compose myself because i found it real funny! he has been living on his own for more than 5 years now, and by god, he’s turning 30, and yet my mother felt like he was some kid to be chided. lol. i’ve said this a lot of times, i guess, parents will always treat their children as KIDS, no matter how old they are. i could have half a dozen children, and my father will always insist on reminding me how to take care of a baby when he himself has not taken care of any! going back to that yosi incident, mico felt sorry for the day he created my folks’ facebook account and for encouraging them to use the internet. 🙂