a week apart

hubby is leaving for one week, or to be more exact, eight days starting this sunday 😦 boo-hoo! mischa and i are sad, or at least i am. i know my daughter is utterly clueless about it. while i can claim to be fairly independent even after our marriage, this is the first time that he and i will be away from each other since we started living together in november of ’08. there was this one time last year when i was on my final month with mischa that he had to leave for his hometown because of the death of an aunt. but that was just an almost overnight thing. i had to resort to nonchalant reluctance about letting him go then but of course tried my hardest not to show it. i stayed with my parents, and i just had to fend for myself (almost). looking back, the two days just passed by in a blur. now, there is the household and the 7-month overactive baby to boot. while life continues, and i just have to get my ass to work everyday, i am more concerned about his presence every night and every morning. you see, we take turns with mischa whenever we are at home, and yaya has her hands free with the baby. mischa is never alone, whether awake or asleep whenever we are there. i never wanted anybody else taking care of her, even picking her up, when i am in the vicinity. that’s just the weird mom in me having this irrational fear that my daughter will prefer other people than me because she sees less of me but that’s for another story. i just don’t know i how i will cope with the absence of hubby for this business trip in bicol. i couldn’t express my utmost gratitude last december when another trip to surigao/agusan got cancelled and i thanked the high heavens for that. now, i know if we would get lucky again save for the mayon volcano erupting but i wouldn’t wish that for the province. besides i’ve been there before and that was the time typhoon reming hit the region with flashfloods and lava flows. it was even more dangerous then with us traversing ravaged roads with fallen electrical posts, a jumble of wires in the middle of the streets, broken billboards, G.I. sheets torn from their houses, establishments covered with dust from ash flows and an assortment of mess that only super typhoons with matching volcanic eruptions can bring. anyway, i am again praying that this trip wouldn’t push through. i have issues from the most serious to the mundane such as how can i take a bath if mischa wakes up earlier than usual and plays with abandon on the bed as she is wont to do. again, one of my weird rules at home that i don’t want the help being too familiar or intimate with us, and that includes being on the bed with the baby. another is, we are nearing our first wedding anniversary on the 25th and he’s due to arrive on the 24th. i know, i know.. we still have time to celebrate when he comes home and we might be able to swing a day off from work but i wanted the whole weekend! and then there are the security issues. being married and a parent, i guess the threat of loss and mortality have reached new heights. i’m just praying i’m still high on heaven’s priority list..

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