coffee christmas

it’s the time of the year again. once again, i’m going to gorge myself up with peppermint mochas and mocha frappes at starbucks just so i could get their yearly planner. the promo has actually started round the first week of november but only got to visit a store recently for my first stickers. you know i’ve been always so antsy to get home to my baby that i rather neglect some of the stuff that has made my world go round. i reminisce now about the countless times i, and best buds rino, cheng, bel and the rest of the gang are almost permanent fixtures at the famous cafe’s tables. how i miss them and the hours talking about nothing and everything! somehow friends, coffee and a pack of cigarettes go very well together.

anyhow, got to finally drag hubby by his heels and got ourselves our first stickers. i’m really excited for this year’s planner since i didn’t get to do this last year because i’ve been sort of banned from coffee because of my pregnancy, and now i’m gonna make up for lost time. i also love their new dark cherry mocha. yey, more trips to starbucks then!

this year's card

got 3 stickies so far

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new body clock

i’ve been up since 5:30 a.m. since mischa had her first bottle for the day. i’ve been trying to put her to sleep to no avail. she wanted to play. wanted to roll around on the bed. wanted to kick me for trying to prevent her from doing it lest she regurgitates her milk. after she finally settled down an hour and fifteen minutes later, i got to have a ten minute nap tops. but that was it. i tossed round and round into the little space left for me by hubby and baby but then had to get up. my body didn’t want to sleep. it knows it’s morning already. gone were the days of milking out sleep time. walked around, did the bottles, fixed the place, etc. guess my mommy brain is working at its regular pace, having been used to getting up early, making sure my body follows. lie-in has become a thing of the past.

coming home to a happy baby

i came home tired from a long and arduous day at the office to find my babe smiling up at me with that adorable toothless grin, and immediately all the shitty stuff drained my body. sigh! what a way to end the day. it’s very, very seldom that she is awake when we get here round 8sh. now i know when people tell me the phrase nakakawala ng pagod ang anak 🙂 how very true and fitting. she was actually beside herself with glee, and was continuously squealing so that i or her dad will pick her up. she was arching her back (and butt), and i wanted to pick her up if only i weren’t filthy from all the urban dirt clinging to my clothes and body from spending a day on the streets. she was really really happy to see us. it made my heart leap a mile! what a perfect way to end my day. no matter how bad it was, nothing mattered except that wide smile that has me wrapped around mischa’s finger from day one. she just siphons all the worries and tiredness away. it’s so good climb into bed and letting her fall into a dreamy slumber. so great to be a mommy. i would forever brave jerks and assholes at work so that i could count the hours and minutes when i could be with you again my sweet.

virtual friends

Ever since I joined the newlyweds@work group, I’ve been constantly barraged with a variety of tips and whatnots regarding pregnancy, child care for a whole range of kids, marriage, household issues and the like. I always look forward to when I get to check my emails and find all of the threads for the day. It’s very different from the weddings@work group which I previously belong to, having been a giddy bride-to-be as I geared up for my wedding.

As a new mom, I absorb the info I get from n@w like a sponge, and always want to try out the things that I stumble upon in the course of the discussions. I glory in the mommy and wifey talks as I want to hear the experiences of those going or have gone through this path but who are more or less near my age. Feeling like a mom of the century, I didn’t want to arm myself with facts and figures that were spun of old wives’ tales (read: no scientific basis and based on superstition). Not that I follow everything I read, I still sift through the information I get, and apply only those I personally believe in after careful thought and much weighing. You meet different kinds of people in this online community, and they come from all walks of life. With these, they also view the world with through different eyes. Some are very wise moms indeed, many are neophytes in the field of mommyhood and wifehood, quite a few are downright shallow, but most are just eager to lend a hand to give tips on anything and everything under the sun. they bring about the best and worst mom in me. Their views make me think (twice, thrice, etc.), crack up, want to slap my head in exasperation or frustration, smile, empathize, nod in agreement, even cry, or just plain muse about stuff. it’s up to me to sort through everything, and worry only about things that matter. If you’re the kind of anxious person who gets easily agitated or icky, then maybe this is not for you. If you’re the type who want to gag at the silliest ideas, then maybe this is not for you. I also get to read mommy blogs, and have lotsa links for other mommy sites which have really become my lifeline in the past five months.

Reading posts can make or break even your staunch beliefs, or may make you rethink about how you do things. For example, I wanted to buy a whole new line of feeding bottles and consequent accessories for Mischa ever since I found out about the effects of BPA (but have calmed down since then when I think about all the BPA that were in MY bottles yet I turned out fine), and want to go organic when it comes to diapers and infant food (really want to try earth’s best now). And really, really want to dab my hand at being a SAHM or a WAHM if only we can afford a single income household.

On the other hand, I sometimes feel really defensive when the topic of breastfeeding sometimes comes up because of the way formula-feeding mothers are quietly portrayed as “antagonists”. Yeah of course I know breastfeeding is still best for babies, but I had problems with it. I tried my damnedest after I gave birth only to have my breasts bleed after I overdid trying to pump them to no avail. At first I felt really insecure that I couldn’t do it even if I did arm myself with how to’s and bought myself an Avent manual. I managed to mix-feed for a month. I guess it’s not just for everybody, and I’ve learned soon enough that giving formula doesn’t make me a bad mother. I should get an A for effort. But I know deep in my heart that I make up for it through other things, and I thank the heavens everyday that Mischa is as healthy as can be. I even think she’s healthier than most breastfed babies who have experienced jaundice, low weight, sepsis, etc.

On the whole, I really appreciate having this kind of network for when in the world would you find a hundred or thousand virtual friends who actually think what you’re thinking, and understand your weird or valid quirks? It’s very rare that you can share even your littlest problems, such as household helps (this seem to be quite a regular topic), kids’ illnesses, achievements and even peculiar in-law behaviors. I like my virtual friends because they are there and are often non-committal or non-judgmental (or so I think, or at least online). side comments are very rare.

movie catch-up

thank god for our laptop, we’re going to do some catch up movie “dates” this weekend. yay! i know, i know, it’s piracy! but it’s available so why not take advantage of it? we didn’t have much time and opportunity since late last year. i’ve got a nice line up of what we’ve missed, and hopefully we can actually sit down and see them. last sunday we got to watch harry potter and the half-blood prince which i have been dying to see since forever. on my list for saturday:

1. the curious case of benjamin button
2. 500 days of summer
3. the dark knight
4. angels and demons
5. mamma mia
6. sex and the city
7. transformers: revenge of the fallen

i wonder what else is interesting? the last thing i got to watch was x-men origins: wolverine, and it feels like ages ago.

incidentally, online friends’ discussion today revolve around dating the hubby. many expressed concern on not being able to go out on dates after getting hitched, more so when baby comes around. i always know that this is really important to keep the flame alive. though we know this really poses a challenge, what with juggling work, playing mommy, being queen of the household, and being wifey. being a dad is very very different from being a mom. while at this stage, i couldn’t (or wouldn’t) afford to leave mischa if i have free time. i want to devote all these for her at her young age. ask me again after a year 🙂 for now, we have to be content with doing the small stuff as long as the three of us are together, like going to church or enjoying a day at the mall, or being at home playing 🙂

stranger anxiety

this weekend (twas a long one for me as i was off work friday because of tummy aches), she celebrated her fifth month, and ran a gamut of tricks that made mommy both clap her hands in glee, and almost cry out with her.

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in particular, i really liked it when she continually reaches her toes then made some kind of rolling motion. she also now loves to sleep on her side but always gets cranky when she wakes up with i guess, a numb side and arm.

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last saturday, we had a pedia visit and she got 5-in-1 shots for DPT, HPV and OPV, and she cried for just about a minute. i think it was just the shock of the needle more than the itsy bitsy pain. she’s a big girl now! then we visited her cousin joakeen, and they look so cute together.

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we then went to our house in taytay albeit only for a few hours. picked up some stuff and tied up some loose ends like the car. my mischa had a bad case of stranger anxiety! nanay, my brother in law’s mother, who used to take care of her before, came to her and made her cry real bad! this she did the whole time we were there. i really felt for mischa because she had continuous tears in her eyes. tsk tsk, she needs to socialize more. she feels secure and smiles at strangers only when mommy and daddy are around.